What do you say to someone who is rude for no reason?

ChiefExecutive · Post by **ChiefExecutive** » August 3rd, 2020, 12:20 am

Someone was recently rude to me out of nowhere. I'm not sure whether it's best to speak up or to let it slide since he is obviously nebach a little off if he felt the need to speak that way.

gamanit · Post by **gamanit** » August 3rd, 2020, 12:56 am

Usually best to let it slide. Sometimes a person feels the need to knock others in order to "raise" themselves higher. Of course they acheive nothing except in their own head but sometimes they need it. If it was in public, remember that anyone insulted in public that doesn't answer has a tremendous koach hatefillah at that moment.

Cranberry · Post by **Cranberry** » August 3rd, 2020, 1:01 am

Still, sometimes it needs to be called out or else the person will do the same in every single interaction for the rest of his life.

ChiefExecutive · Post by **ChiefExecutive** » August 3rd, 2020, 1:14 am

I didn't mention this originally, but the person in question used language that is not used in polite society.

gamanit · Post by **gamanit** » August 3rd, 2020, 8:06 am

The question is if telling off would help. If this happens again you can try saying "it's possible that I'm xyz but kindly say so using appropriate language". Added bonus is that bullies hate when you agree with them and usually leave you alone after that.

LunchBreaker · Post by **LunchBreaker** » August 4th, 2020, 11:22 am

There's a saying, "Be nice to your enemies. It will drive them crazy.".

Arc · Post by **Arc** » August 9th, 2020, 12:15 am

LunchBreaker wrote: ↑August 4th, 2020, 11:22 am There's a saying, "Be nice to your enemies. It will drive them crazy.".

Yes, but you have to be super-nice, so nice that they ask themselves "with enemies like this, who needs friends?" and ultimately decide that they're not getting what they want out of the relationship, so they choose to end it.

Cranberry · Post by **Cranberry** » August 10th, 2020, 12:46 am

It also really does depend whether you yourself have the ability to decide not to spend time with this person.

shpritz · Post by **shpritz** » August 10th, 2020, 10:17 pm

Silence is golden. Unless the person is a bully and you need authorities involved, it is always better to take the high road.

LunchBreaker · Post by **LunchBreaker** » August 18th, 2020, 9:59 am

How do you define a bully? Some people are not quite bullies, but they would be if they had the power.

shpritz · Post by **shpritz** » August 20th, 2020, 11:18 am

If someone beats up on others on a consistent basis, I would define them as a bully.

LunchBreaker · Post by **LunchBreaker** » August 20th, 2020, 11:20 am

But what if someone doesn't physically beat anyone up, but is constantly verbally harassing people?

ChiefExecutive · Post by **ChiefExecutive** » September 6th, 2020, 1:03 am

Of course he's a bully he disobeys Onuos Devurim.

Arc · Post by **Arc** » September 6th, 2020, 10:31 pm

ChiefExecutive wrote: ↑September 6th, 2020, 1:03 am Of course he's a bully he disobeys Onuos Devurim.

Is that the definition of a bully? I'm not sure it is accurate.